Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
