Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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