i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
