Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
