Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
