You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
