So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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