I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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