she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
