Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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