Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
