I wish I could teleport
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
