I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
