He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
