My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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