he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
