I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
