Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
its not stalking. its research.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
