he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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