you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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