been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
