I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize