The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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