You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
