i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
