just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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