My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
