I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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