Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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