singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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