East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My pussy is not your playground.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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