so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You were trust falling into bushes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
