in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we're making bets on your personal life
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
