I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
