so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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