its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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