You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
