i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
