A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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