You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
