i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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