So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
