She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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