I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
