rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
