my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize