He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
