i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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