Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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