i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
