I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
