I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
