Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
