no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
