I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
