I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
