As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your cock deserves a montage
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
