i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
