I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize