Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
