There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
