I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
