He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
