you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
