every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Buhtt sex?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
