Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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