ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
