Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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