how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
