I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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