Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
