okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
