The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
