We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i think my cat just said my name.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize