'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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