Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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