There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
should my penis look like a turkey
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
