She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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